Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
