I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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