It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize