And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
