I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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