I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
