Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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