There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sarcasm needs its own font
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
