he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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