im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
