Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
