once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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