I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We are two peas in an std pod
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
