Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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