there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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