I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
