there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Boobs are out for the taking
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
