My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
