apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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