Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
