carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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