how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
