Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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