Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
