Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
