I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
