I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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