i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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