Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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