Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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