I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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