He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
