sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
