I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
