Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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