It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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