I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
