bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
