His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
