This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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