the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
