Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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