We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
