I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
