i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
