He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
