I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
birth control should be required to get into college
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
