so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
