Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ttyl tear gas
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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