I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
